Baby Shower Invites!

Baby Shower

Hi All;

Just an update, the girls (Hannah, Tina, Denise, and Gena) will be sending out the invitations to the baby shower very soon! The day is May 5, 2012. I'm very excited! It will be a couples shower... and kids are welcome! Its really just going to be a fun picnic outside! No games, but tons of fun! Just what I would like! Hopefully its beautiful! :)

Name Picked!

Grayson Force Henry

Yes, we decided on a name! Since I realized Ross was not going to give into Jackson and we both like this name AND it was Aunt Pooh's favorite name of our group... we chose Grayson! :) The middle name is Ross' family name that has been passed down to many men! :)

Less than 4 months until we get to meet our little Gray man!

PS... No one call him G-Force or Ross will make me change the name! :)

6 months! 4 to go!

This week I had my 24 week check up aka 6 months! Wow, I can't believe I have been pregnant for 6 months... Monique and I were joking we should go to an AA meeting and get a pin for 6 months sobriety! :)

I'm so conflicted with this pregnancy. I want to enjoy it, but am so damn sad most of the time that I can't seem to be excited anymore. I have 4 months to go and Aunt Pooh has 3 months to live. The math just isn't in my favor. Some times I just think I wish time would stop and then I'm like... I can't be pregnant forever!

I also can't help the feeling that I don't want to annoy people with talk of me too much so I'm probably just going to keep to myself for a little while. Lay low, especially this weekend. Normally I would talk to Aunt Pooh about my pregnancy stuff but right now she is consumed with what is going on with her and I feel like I'm being selfish if I talk about me. I tried talking to some friends but I would start talking and kept getting interrupted by different stuff so I didn't really feel like they REALLY wanted to know. lol... They just asked to be polite... and it made me think I was being the debbie downer... sooooooooo another reason I am just going to keep to myself for a while.

Anyways, I'm feeling him kick a lot. My back is starting to ache a little and I think I had my first taste of acid reflux the other day. So, I am getting some of the pregnancy symptoms people talk about all the time!

Pancreatic Cancer

So, last Thursday,... less than a week ago, Aunt Pooh learned she has Pancreatic Cancer. She has a large (6cm spot) on her pancreas but it has spread also to her liver, lymph nodes along her aorta, femur, hip, and spine. :-( She has been given three months live... maybe longer with chemo.

Now, if you are reading this... then you probably know me... and if you probably know me... then you probably know how head over heels in love with my aunt I have ALWAYS been. This is the Aunt that bought my the coach diaper bag I showed you in a previous post. ;-)

She has always been the absolute best to me. I grew up with a single workaholic mother and often times felt very much alone. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, but its definitely true. My aunt always had a way of making me feel special. She would spoil me rotten on a pretty regular basis. I remember when I was 8, I flew out to Nevada by myself for the first time to visit her. I was soooooooo in love with her, I demanded that she take me to get a haircut so that I could look just like her. I remembered just thinking that she is what I wanted to be like. Now, Aunt Pooh did have a SHORT haircut and my grandfather called me Steve when I got back, for it seemed like forever... :-)

When my grandfather passed away a few years later, I was devastated. He was my entire world. I remember feeling like no one would ever love me like he loved me. I was heart broken and devastated. Aunt Pooh was the person that stepped into my life even more to fill that void. It was during her trip home for the funeral that she taught me the expression "Just charge it." :)

In the years that followed my brother and I would visit her yearly. After a while, it was just me visiting her but I loved that even more because I got her all to myself. We could do girly things and watch girly movies and talk about SHOES! We both share an extreme passion for shoes and purses... and most recently we have bonded over decorating.

A few years ago I lost another extremely important person in my life, my grandmother. She had been sick for a little while, but not too long. I took for granted that she would get better because I was naive to her age and illness. But again, I had Aunt Pooh there to curl up in bed and cry for the loss of a woman that raised both me and her.

Everyone asks me how I am feeling these days... mostly sad, but kind of angry. I'm not going to have her with me during this difficult time, like she was with my grandparents. I'm not going to have her for Christmas or Thanksgiving... I have always wanted to have this family that I see my friends have. I have wanted a family that makes time for each other during the holidays and travels to see you or even just makes sure they call. I have,since turning into an adult (recently), tried to reach out to people and invite them to our house, but I haven't had much luck. It always hurts my feelings, but in the end I was grateful that I had Aunt Pooh. She always made sure to try to spend every holiday that she could with me. If I invited her and she COULD make it, she did. Heck! She even came for my housewarming party!

Really, I feel so sad for my child... he deserves someone that will make time for him.... that will inconvenience their life to make his happier. His loss is what I find myself crying for daily. I have said all of this to Aunt Pooh and her response is just that Ross and I will need to be the ones to shower him with love and affection.

The most difficult part of ALL of this is that the person I would normally talk to about what I'm feeling and thinking would be her and because I don't want to upset her or she get upset by something I say, I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I know I have Ross, but being that he is a guy, he isn't very insightful and most of the time I can tell he is uncomfortable with this. I also know I have 100 friends that have offered their ears, but I just can't bring myself to tell them everything that I am thinking. Plus, I can't help but think they will get sick of hearing me talk about this for the next however many months. My stepmother has been wonderful though. Her mom just went through a lot of what Aunt Pooh is going through and passed away in November, so its nice to hear advice from her and she calls regularly so I know she cares not only about me, but about my aunt which makes me feel good.

Anyways... I wanted to see if writing this down would help me feel better... I guess we'll see.

One Step Closer...

Below are our top 5 names. They are in no particular order (except my favorite is number 1)...

1. Jackson
2. Lincoln
3. Hunter
4. Mason
5. Grayson

The Nursery, so far!

Kicks!

So, I thought I would share that last night Ross felt the baby kick for the first time! :) Yay! The kicks are so low still that I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone else feeling just yet. :) I'm sure in time! :)

Week 20

Half way there!

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

Stary Night

So, Monique found this awesome idea! I showed it to Ross and he says he is IN! yay! :) Now I just hope he isn't going to try to actually make real constellations with the stars above.... which knowing him he totally would. :) But thats why I love him!

You do this by buying end tip fiber optics and running it from the attic into the room. The person that posted this picture says that the picture is over exposed so the room isn't as bright as it appears in the picture.

I think our little boy would LOVE this! :)

Ross' Bday Gift

Ross got his first bday gift that was for the baby! yay! I'm not the only one! :) Thanks to my awesome friend, Denise! :)

I'm not sure why this brings me such happiness, but it does! :-) This does remind me how much trouble I am in when I have two boys in the house ganging up on me to watch Star Wars Clone wars... ughhhhhhhh

10 inches!

Okay, so I was reading at week 20 little Baby Henry is 10 inches long!!!

This is insanely big. I held a ruler up to my tummy and I have no idea how a 10 inch child could be inside my stomach!!!!

Okay, that is just my random thought of the day.

19 Week Sonogram Pictures!

Week 19

Your Baby in Week 19 of Pregnancy

He is the size of a grapefruit! Have you ever seen a mango dipped in cheese? Well, that's what your baby looks like this week due to a little growth spurt (she's about a half pound in weight and six inches long) and a substance called vernix caseosa. This greasy white stuff covers your baby's skin, protecting it from the surrounding amniotic fluid. (Without it, she'd look totally wrinkled as she entered the world.) The vernix sheds as delivery approaches, though some babies still sport a bit of the coating at birth.

Your Body in Week 19 of Pregnancy

One minute you're lying peacefully in bed and the next your calf muscle feels like it's about to explode. Leg cramps during pregnancy are pretty common (no one knows exactly what causes them, but muscle fatigue or compressed blood vessels are the likeliest culprits) and tend to strike at night. You might also be wondering about tingling and numbness in your fingers and toes about now. It's a weird sensation but totally normal, probably a result of your body's swelling tissues pressing on nerves.

Gifts for Expecting Moms

So, I have started to put together a gift basket for a friend for when she DOES get pregnant. :-) I don't think she reads my blog, so I think I'm safe. BUT I thought it would be fun to share! I have noticed since getting pregnant that when people give me gifts or presents they are not really for me, but for the baby! lol I think it is super sweet of them, but it definitely got me thinking that this begins my life of nothing being for me. :-) Sighhhhhhhhhhh

At least this gives me some perspective on what I should do for other people.

So, from now on I will give my friends that are pregnant gifts for THEM!

My gift basket for my mystery friend will include:

• Preggatini's Recipe Book


• Spa Gift Card


• Foot soaking solution


• Belly Band


• Organic Belly Lotion


• Tummy sooothing snacks


• Tylenol


• 12 Hours in 12 weeks book


• Organic Shampoo & Conditioner

I'm sure I'll find some more fun stuff to include! But its a start!